One of unexpected benefits of taking the metro to work in Delhi, or walking to work in Mumbai, is you rediscover the vibrancy of the streets again. People are on the move – there is energy and purpose and a sense of let’s-get-on-with-it which is actually quite good to see. You learn to recognise the tell-tale signs – young people are inevitably dressed in jeans with dangling ear phones, the government babus inevitably are carrying their bag (important papers or their lunchboxes, I wonder) and sales executives are on their phones talking about documents (pronounced “doke-you-ments” as opposed to the American “daak-u-mints”).
But one of the most interesting things you get to see are the street vendors peddling their wares. Most of the time, it is the familiar. Food – peanuts or corn-on-the-cob depending upon the season, rajma-chawal, kulche-chole, savouries and (this must be a Delhi thing), paapads! Then there are the shoeshiners, newspaper/magazine vendors and what have you. The usual. But occasionally, you run into the unusual that makes you say “hmm”! Let me talk about 3 of them here.
Did you know that if you are weight conscious, you don’t have to buy a weighing machine at home? In exchange for ₹ 2, you can do that on the street and the ROI is much better! Both in Delhi and Mumbai, in the 10-15 minute walking stretch that I do, I have come across at least one guy with a weighing machine with a few coins thrown carelessly nearby to suggest that he is in business! In Delhi, there is now a lady who has also set up shop so to speak and so there is more to it than meets the eye! I must admit that I have rarely seen people weighing themselves but then maybe I pass by at a time when business is slow. I fully intend to sit with this guy in Delhi and learn more about the business.
The second one – and this must be a Mumbai speciality – is the feeding-the-cow business. I must say this blew my mind but I have seen it in at least 3 places in a small stretch of Mumbai between Colaba and Fort, and so it must be a real thing! So, what you will have is a cow tied to a pole, surrounded by piss and shit of course, with green fodder helpfully at hand but out of reach of the cow. The business is that for a small sum of money, you buy some fodder and get to feed the cow with your own hands. What a win-win-win! The cow gets food, the person running this business gets a livelihood and I guess the guy who is paying for all this gets the satisfaction of feeding a cow! Bharat mata ki jai!
A third one that has cropped up quite recently near Jantar Mantar in Delhi is a guy selling prescription glasses. Now, we have all seen guys selling shades or goggles or dark glasses or whatever you call them. But this guy actually sells prescription glasses. The way it works is that if you think you cant see too well, you go to this guy who will ask you a few questions to ascertain if your problem is near-sightedness or far-sightedness. Then, he will give you a series of glasses to try out till you find one that you can see clearly through. Ta-da! I haven’t yet asked him how he came into this profession but I must.
A fourth – I know I said 3 but I must talk about this one too, though this less uncommon – is the ear cleaner. This seemed to be an Old Delhi phenomenon but since I work in Connaught Place which is in a sense on the cusp between the two Delhis, I have seen several of these guys. What characterises them is that they wear red caps. They seat you down, put some cotton on a stick (I have seen them using Q-tips also – progress!) and essentially de-wax your ears. The look on the client’s face suggests that they think this is time and money well spent. And so, if you happen to be in CP and feel your ears itching, look for the guy with the red cap. Satisfaction guaranteed! I don’t know about your hearing though!!